Dating Tips

Tricks and Advice for Singles and Couples

                    10 Tips to Reading Online Dating Profiles

Most of the people on online dating sites are honest and have good intentions, but some people are misleading. Here are some tips for spotting the fakes:

Know what you're looking for. The most common things people mislead about in online dating profiles are: weight, general physical appearance (using old photos), and age. Other fudge factors include height, income, and marital status. Besides outright mis-information, be on the lookout for people who are overly secretive, hostile, or manipulative. Check the picture(s). If the person has only one or two pictures posted and they are out of focus, look old or look like "the one time they ever took a good picture," be wary.

Read the descriptions. Do they freely disclose basic info about who they are, what they do, and what they are looking for, or do they seem secretive, overly vague, or like they are hiding something.

Check for multiple profiles. Some people post multiple profiles with different ages, pictures, etc. to attract different people. Find 1 or 2 unique keywords in their descriptions and search by keyword to see if they come up multiple times.

TrueDater them. Always check to see if the person has been reviewed on TrueDater.com. Just enter the dating site and their profile ID. Also enter reviews of people you have dated. Save yourself and others wasted time and heartache.

Ask them. If their profile looks okay, email or chat with them. See if they sound like the person in the profile. If their photos aren't clear or don't show their body, ask them to send more. If they refuse, be wary. Ask them about their job or other details to see if they sound genuine.
Google them. It's always fun and sometimes revealing to do a Google search on the person. Just type their first and last name into Google. Also check for variations like "Mike" for "Michael." Don't jump to conclusions if you see something negative, remember it could be a different person with the same name. Of course, you will need to know their name to do this.

Ask your friends. If the person is local, ask your friends if they have met them. You never know who has met who on an online dating site, and it's fun to swap online dating stories.

Do a background check. If you want to be very cautious, you can pay a fee to run a criminal background check, similar to what companies do before they hire new employees. Be sure to find out exactly what the service checks for and what they don't. Many states and counties don't report criminal backgrounds and previous or current marriages can be very difficult to find.

Trust your gut. Last but not least, always trust your gut. If you feel someone isn't being genuine for any reason, walk away. There are plenty of fish in the sea, it's better to pass on someone than take an unnecessary risk. 

                      Dating tips: The #1 person we lie to is ourselves.

Sometimes the idea of a relationship has more value to us than compatibility, equity in the relationship, or just plain happiness. The idea can create illusions that you’re in a healthy realtionship because it is what we choose not to see. Even though we might not be aware of it consciously, subconsciously we are compensating for the elements that are missing. So, it becomes a perfectly fine relationship.Some people compensate with a dog, others with their computer, ice cream, etc. We all are trying to create balance and seeking happiness. Do we recognize how we are compensating? Not all of the time. We have to be made aware of it. The #1 person we lie to is ourselves. “S/He may not have X things that I would like, but it works for now.” “It’s okay that we don’t do X (the things that i enjoy), I’m happy to have companionship.” “It’s ok that he doesn’t want children, I wasn’t to sure about having them anyway.” Anything that you have desired for your lifestyle is what shouldn’t be deleted off your list. The ideal partner will compliment your goals, desires and assist in fulfilling your dreams together.

Ideas about people and relationships create illusions that distort our perception of reality.